pirotcka svadba i jos po neki vicevi....
U Pirotu svadba, postavili svedski sto sa puno hrane, doso jedan pirocanac i seo za sto, pridjemu stari svat paga poce vikat ; zastosi tu seo, znas li daje to svetski sto, ovaj mu odgovori" pa kada gi dodju svedjani ja cu da ustanem.
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Dosla svedjanka u cgoru i cula dasu crnogorci, lijepi , visoki ,i pametni pa trazi dajoj neko napravi crnogorca.
Setala po Ulcinjskoj peskovitoj plazi, odjednom ugleda jednog zgodnog momka , pocrnijo od sunca ima u njega dva metra,svedjanka pogleda momka paga upita: izvinite jasam svedjanka culasam dasu cgorci lijepi visoki i pametni,pabih voljela dami neko napravi cgorca, mldic je pogleda vidje daje dobra i dobrog izgleda pa rece" zaomije ali ja nijesam c gorac ja sam slovenac, ali da mogu davam napravim c gorca mogu postonije pun qurac c goraca.
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Dolazi Doktor u selo dje se slavi svadbeno veselje, odjednom zavikase
Doktore pomazi!! zamrla mlada, doktor je pregleda i zapita gdje je mladozenja, pojavise mladozenja,doktor mu rece vodi ti mladu u krevet i odjebi dobro, tako ibi i mlada se uhvati u kolo i nastavi igrat.
Posle izvjesnog vremena ponovo doktor u selo, kada poce ponovo kuknjava,, pomozi doktore, umrla baba Stojana, tri je dana cijelo selo jebe i nemozemo joj pomoc.
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U englesko kafani, kojase zove pub, ljudi piju vatra gori a pored vatre vucjak pas savijase i poce da lize muda, gledajuga dva starca i dive se kako je vitalan pas i kako se savija, dok jedan starac zapita ej Djordj stobi ja volio kadabi mogo ovako, Djordj mu odgovori, pa ponudimu biskvit mozda ce da te pustiti.
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Engleski bracni par, posli na bracno putovanje u Afriku, setaju oni, kada primetise neku guzvu puno ljudi, pridjose kad onamo jedan stari crnac uzo svoju stvar u ruke i razbiva sa njim orahe, narod se divi i pljeskajumu.
Posle dvadeset godina,ponovo odlucise da proslave dvadeset godisnjicu i zena ga zamoli da podju u Afriku, dabi se podsetili na mladost, kad ponovo na istom mjestu neka guzva, sada puno stari covjek sa sijedom bradom, isto uhvatijo onu stvar i lomi ali ovoga puta kokosove orahe. Pridjemu ovaj bracmi par i upitaga; pa mi vas znamo prije dvadeset godina, kako to da sada lomite kokosove orahe, ovaj ce! pa sada mije nesto vid oslabijo.
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Pecali ribu Bosanac i Slovenac, ceo dan pecali i uhvatili samo jednu ribu...
pitajuse kako daje podijele, bosanac kaze podelicemoje po sredini pa tebe eto lijeva strana ili desna sve jednomije, slovenac- necu ti ces me zajebat.
Bosanac rece: ajde poprijeko tebe glava a mene rep ili obratno, opet slovenac nece i ne vjeruje. Ok rece bosanac ; ti skini gace date ja zguzim pa posle cu ja, pa ko bude bolji neka nosi ribu, i slovenac se slozi, opaliga bosanac, skoro oci damu ne ispadose, slovenac rece ajde sad ti: ma nosi ti tu ribu ja ionako ne volim niti jedem ribe.
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A woman arrived at the Gates of Heaven. While she was waiting for Saint Peter to greet her, she peeked through the gates.
She saw a beautiful banquet table. Sitting all around were her parents and all the other people she had loved and who had died before her. They saw her and began calling greetings to her, "Hello, How are you ! We've been waiting for you ! Good to see you."
When Saint Peter came by, the woman said to him, "This is such a wonderful place! How do I get in ?" "You have to spell a word," Saint Peter told her.
"Which word?" the woman asked.
"Love."
The woman correctly spelled "Love" and Saint Peter welcomed her into Heaven.
About a year later, Saint Peter came to the woman and asked her to watch the Gates of Heaven for him that day.
While the woman was guarding the Gates of Heaven, her husband arrived. "I'm surprised to see you," the woman said. "How have you been ?"
"Oh, I've been doing pretty well since you died," her husband told her. "I married the beautiful young nurse who took care of you while you were ill. And then I won the multi-state lottery. I sold the little house you and I lived in and bought a huge mansion And, my wife and I traveled all around the world. We were on vacation in Cancun and I went water skiing today. I fell and hit my head, and here I am. What a bummer. How do I get in ?"
"You have to spell a word," the woman told him.
"Which word ?" her husband asked
"Czechoslovakia."
Moral of the story: Never
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Brzi sledeci put se potrudi da postujes sve viceve u jedan topic a ne 10 viceva na 10 topica
